Endowed in perpetuity by the Glenna Luschei Fund for Excellence



By Krishna Udayasankar

My skull was too big
Her pelvis too small
I stayed between her thighs
long enough to learn
the word “I,” and then was
gone, spiralling
back towards the It-We-Oneness
that takes nine months
and a moment to leave behind.

A last, hovering trace: I see
the man who would have
been Father, solemn as he scours
a tiny pile of ash for
smaller shards still of what could have been,
to collect in a brass urn. He wonders,
out loud, why they don’t have
infant-sized incinerators.
Mother gives him a harsh look.

Together, they drive to the seaside. Mother
cradles the urn in her lap.
It is, she says, but half the size
of my problematic skull.
“If only,” she whispers, as
the man parks the car. He mumbles
something about trying again.

Soon, the brass is empty, the sea
is not. It is vast enough
to forget the past, or at least
to try. But I do not have to.
Soon I will be home. 


Krishna Udayasankar

Krishna Udayasankar is the author of The Aryavarta Chronicles, a bestselling series of mytho-historical novels that have received critical acclaim. She is also the author of the poetry collection Objects of Affection (Math Paper P) and guest editor of Body Boundaries: The Etiquette Anthology of Women’s Writing (The Literary Centre). Her poetry and short fiction have also appeared in international anthologies. 

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