I meant no disrespect to my body.
Sleepless, I made my way to the outdoor shower
hard rosebuds of insect bites rising. Vitamin
B, lavender oil, tea tree oil, Benadryl, nothing helped
& nothing made me less of a feast to the predawn
mosquitoes & fleas. Long ago I held a mesh bag
seething w/ ladybugs, my first sense of wealth,
all that luck at once, released on the backyard rosebush,
tiny black mouths & bright buttery wings
pinching aphids. I cannot drown beneath the waver
of an outdoor shower, rubber sandals sucking against
a concrete drain, but I can try. Next to me a little girl
showers w/ her mother, tramping a plastic horse
through the soap scum & fallen
hair nests. The tiny cello of her body, like mine,
is covered in itched welts, the shape of her life
singing all around her, sunlight crashing
into the manchineel, itching & scratching,
a beautiful sunburn, bee stings. I am stranded
from her joy, the torn bag revealing its red bugs, their
black mouths fastened to my body sores
w/ hunger/ w/ attentive love,
call it what you want.